Join- An invitation I could not resist

I follow the paper trail of cut up pieces of paper across the kitchen. . . into the living room. . . and I can feel my heart start to beat faster and my cheeks are getting flushed. I just finished cleaning up the house on my Friday cleaning day and there are tiny scraps and pieces of paper scattered all over our main living space. Somewhere deep down the anger begins to boil up as I see there is a definite trail that, if I follow, will lead me to the paper cutting criminal. Within a few seconds I can clearly discern that the paper trail leads into my daughters room and I follow it. Her door, left open just a crack allows me to see in and I can see her with paper and scissors still busily cutting something. I take a deep breath and intend to go in and discuss this mess and a million other things and as I take a deep breath in and prepare to open her door, the Holy Spirit nudges me or I guess I should say kicks me in the gut. I pause and I watch her, she is absolutely beautiful to me!

She is fully in imaginary play with her paper dolls and the beautiful dresses she has made out of paper and decorated for them. The innocence and beauty in her play chokes me up. Her paper dolls are going on a tea party picnic, this much I catch onto. I am caught between should I sneak away from her door or should I stay and watch her a few minutes more but before I can decide, she sees me through the crack and with this amazing invitation she invites me to join in and play paper dolls with her. My initial anger has long been forgotten now, the “tidied up” house can wait. . . my beautiful daughter wants to play with ME and I don’t know how long these days will last. Some day there will be no 7 year old girl cutting out paper dresses and playing imaginary Samantha and Kirsten games in our house. Yes, today the paper trail led me to something much better than a tidied up house. . . it led me to join in my daughters sweet little world. And I am so very thankful for the invite!

Stretching. . .

It’s midnight and here I sit on the soft new carpet in my son’s bedroom watching him sleep. Watching him breath in and out so peacefully and silently. It’s hard to believe that this bundle of energy and joy and spit and fire can look so peaceful, so silent, so angelic when he sleeps. The silence is almost deafening here in this room that held so much “Loud” today.

I was ushered here tonight, summoned you might say. Maybe because of the events of the day, maybe because of the state of my heart, maybe because the Holy One called me but here I sit, with tears streaming down my face stretching out my son before the only one who could possibly love him more than I do. I fear things for him. I never thought that at the grand age of 4 that I would be consulting a play therapist for ideas and ways to help my 4 year old process grief and loss. I fear for the long term repercussions for my third culture kids- all three of them. My heart breaks for them and for the life of transition stress that they live, but today, or tonight I should say, my 4 year old son is heavy on my heart and it is because of this that I feel summoned to sit here, to pray prayers of blessing and prayers of protection, prayers of covering and prayer for wisdom for him. This is not the first time the Lord has summoned me to stretch out this little body before Him and bathe him in prayer, and it probably won’t be the last, but it is what He has asked of me tonight. So it is here I sit. . . and I stretch!

Nothing in the world says summer like garden dirt!

There is nothing in the world that says summer to me than a little garden dirt under the fingernails. Our garden got WAY out of control from the flood and the entryway was so underwater we couldn't get in to the garden (which was not fully underwater but got enough water for a garden growth wonderland) for a good couple of weeks. When we did the weeds were taller than the plants! We finally were able to get in there and pull the weeds, till up some soil and prune some plants! I had plenty of help with some of the kids friends and I'm not sure who had more fun, them or me! It was a blast!

Summer is for making time for making art!

Summer is for making time for art. . . art and more art! We have really enjoyed making time for art this summer!

Here. Here I feel “love”. Here in the warm snuggles on my bed with 2 little munchkins wrapped in my arms on either side of me and halfway through our second Magic Tree House book for today. It’s in their embraces that I feel it. It is here in bedtime prayers and whispered stories of silly monkeys in coconut trees. Right here as I am encircled with her giggles and pleads for one more story or one more song or one more drink of water as I turn out the light. It is in her voice that I hear it. Here, embraced with his sweet smile and tight hugs and it is here I see love in his first word written in the rainbow colored pencil M-O-M, as he beams of pride for creating beauty and for figuring out how to spell my name all on his own. Here I see love in his eyes, in his creation and in his smile. Here I see it. Here, I smell “love” as I wrap him up in his bath towel and even though he tells me he is a “big boy”, my 2 year old baby is still my baby and the smell of squeaky clean mixed with the downy smell of my towels will always remind me and bring me to love. It is here that I smell the sweetness of love. Here, the house is silent and I taste love in the familiar and gentle kiss of my husband as we turn out the light. It is here that I taste it. It is here. . . in my home. . . in my family. . . that I know love. Right here. Right here I know it more deeply than anything I’ve ever known before. Here.