He is mine. . . and I am His

“You are His beloved.  Do you believe that?  Really and fully believe that?” He stood before us with humbleness and conviction. A week ago today I sat in a room with 70 other moms and dad’s who are in full time Christian service in an overseas setting in Asia. We were there to learn about educational and parenting methods and to receive encouragement from each other and a host of other reasons.  But we began each day with heart felt worship that reached down and touched a tender chord in my heart that hadn’t been touched in a very long time. My head nodded yes towards him but my heart shook it’s head no.  I felt paralyzed by the discrepancy between my head and my heart.  He spoke about His tenderness, His grace, His desire to commune with us, to see us in true community and to commission us forth with our heart’s fully embracing his love as our fuel.  The rest of the day I wrestled with this term “beloved”. . . what does it mean? Why is it hard for me to truly  believe that I – am – HIS - beloved?   Is it the broken home I come from that cripples me?  Is it the kilometers that have separated me physically and emotionally from my Dad since I was 10 that disables me?   Why is it that I can’t seem to experience the beauty and joy of being His beloved? And He being mine?  And there in those last 4 words I discover my answer.  I have not fully embraced Him as being MY beloved.  So, I sat my weary and confused heart down before Him and in silence and the hours that passed in between told it that we would  just stay there with Jesus. . . stay there until we let Jesus penetrate into each and every cell.  Sitting in solitude was one of his suggestions  to embrace this truth and it was in the solitude that I experienced the sweetness of my Beloved for the first time in a long time.  There is no greater love nor no greater joy than to be his beloved and for him to be mine.